Monday, April 9, 2012

Papa Bile and My Automatic Correction Minx

I mentioned in a previous posting that the computer I have now had from several weeks before Christmas came equipped with a devilish fill-in-the-blank feature that often changes words I type, with nary an indication to me that it is doing so/has done so.  I called the program a sly little minx in that previous posting, and I'm sorry to have to report to you that she continues to prove herself absolutely capable of slyness.  And minxiness.  

She made me make some embarrassing mistakes some time ago, back when I still dared to post at the snooty and Olympian (in their dreams) Commonweal blog sight, deliberately mixing up the word "contracept" with some inane equivalent that made no sense at all when it was slyly inserted into my cleverly crafted remarks about contraception.  

In recent weeks, I've been keeping a list of things the fill-in-the-blank minx tries to make me say instead of what I had thought I was saying.  Here's the list:

I say "deconverted," she says "reconverted."  (And even as I post this posting, she rechanges the "deconverted" to "reconverted," just as she wants to alter "rechange" to "recharge.")
I write "you" and she switches it to "thou," making me sound like a Quaker wannabe. 
I actually try to write "thou" and she hears "thug." 
She has problems with the ough sound.  "Though" also shifts to "thug" in some sentences. 
"Weakish" becomes, hilariously, "weakfish." 
As you all know, I tried on this blog to talk about being "shriven" and she promptly made me out to be talking about being "shaven."  
"Corrected" becomes "corroded" for Mme. Make Things Better.  Don't you dare corrode me!
"Much" translates to "ugh."  I'm ugh obliged to you. 
"Christmas morning" renders as "Christmas boring," which may well have more than a little truth to it. 
"Complete" equals "omelet."  Dear, I just omeleted your paperwork for you.
"Birthday" turns into "bird hay," which I rather like.  Happy bird hay, you oddity, you! 
"Having" reads as "aching," which sounds a tad bit smutty to me. 
And most hilarious of all, Miss Minx hears papabile as "papa bile."

Which may well be absolutely on target.

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