At his We Occupy Jesus site, Brett Gallaher offers a compelling list of reasons why Jesus would not call notoriously anti-gay, misogynistic pastor Mark Driscoll for a second date: reason #1, Mark keeps dissing Jesus's homegirls:
You see, Jesus would have eventually brought up his friends, especially his homegirls. Jesus has lots of them. Most of them are called Mary. A few are called Jaquita. One is called Esther. Esther from… the book of Esther, Esther (not Madonna Esther). Jesus and Esther go way back. Well, Jesus was more or less spying on Esther because his Act wasn’t until the Romans showed up, but he was there. But the moment he would have brought up Esther, Mark would have interjected with some less-than-kosher remarks. It’s just what Mark does whenever that broad gets brought up.
Gallaher also suggests that Jesus would probably do a face palm on his first date with Mark when Mark got going about how he sees Christianity as for Real. Men. and not chicks and those dudes who are still sort of chicks:
Christianity was about men. Real, sweaty men. The sweatier, the Godlier. Sweatiness is next to Godliness, they say. Wait, that’s not what they say at all. Jesus didn’t want Christianity to be "Manly". That would imply that there’s something inherently wrong with being feminine. Womanly would mean "weak". Such an idea is fundamentally insulting to women. It’s essentially saying that women’s main flaw is that they’re not men. Mark would look over at Jesus, sensing the date going downhill. "What’s wrong, Jesus?!"
Gallaher concludes that he's not bashing Mark Driscoll, but that it might be worth asking whether, in representing Jesus, Driscoll is actually bashing Jesus. And then he adds,
[A]t the end of the day, does the Jesus that Mark calls upon resemble a symbol of love, or of resentment? Does Mark call upon a Jesus who saves lives or who shames lives? Does Mark sound more like a spiritual leader or more like a pseudo sex therapist? You have to decide, but one thing is for sure.
Mark Driscoll wants to wrestle with sweaty men in a cage for Jesus.