Good news: the bullying experienced by Billy Wolfe of
Bad news: this kind of school bullying continues, with no obvious end in sight. The bullying of Billy Wolfe is only the latest in a series of troubling incidents, all with a similar pattern, in
My blog posting of two days ago mentions the case of William Wagner. As the posting indicates, Willi Wagner experienced a brutal gay bashing over a decade ago while enrolled in a
A troubling aspect of this and similar stories is the failure or inability of the school system to address bullying of this sort, until it escalates into physical violence. Willi Wagner and his parents had reported incidents of harassment against Willi—who came to identify himself as gay during his adolescent years—for two years prior to the gay-bashing incident. The Wagners report that little was done to address the problem, and on one occasion, they were told by a school official that Willi Wagner was causing the bullying.
Blaming the victim—particularly the boy considered to be gender-inappopriate—is another troubling and recurrent pattern in these stories. In Wagner’s case, though the youths who participated in the gay-bashing incident were placed on probation after criminal charges were filed against them, bullying continued even after this horrific incident. When the school did not address the on-going harassment, Wagner and his parents filed an Office of Civil Rights (OCR) complaint in January 1997. The parents ultimately chose to remove Willi Wagner from his
In June 1998, OCR reached a “Commitment to Resolve” agreement with the
Following the Willi Wagner story, another student in an
Prior to the call to his mother, the school’s assistant principal had threatened Thomas McLaughlin, giving him an ultimatum: either tell his parents he was gay, or the school would do so. McLaughlin’s science teacher then wrote him a lengthy letter informing him that the bible indicated he would go to hell if he was gay.
This story points to another troubling aspect of many cases of school bullying: not only do teachers and school officials sometimes admit acting on their own religiously based prejudices, but they actually defend harassment premised on those prejudices.
After these incidents, Thomas McLaughlin continued to experience harassment from teachers and administrators. Though it was teachers and school officials who had made the stir about Thomas’s sexual orientation, he was told that he might not discuss homosexuality in school, and would be punished if he brought the subject up. A new assistant principal brought Thomas McLaughlin to his office in the spring of 2003 and forced him to read aloud a Bible passage that, in the view of the principal, condemns homosexuality.
McLaughlin was informed by one teacher that homosexuality is “sickening,” and was suspended from school for telling other students that he had been forced to read Bible passages. When he and a female student were overheard talking about a boy both considered cute, he was disciplined. The female student was not.
In March 2003, the ACLU filed suit against the
Though Billy Wolfe does not identify as gay, as my posting two days ago indicated, the bullying he is experienced is premised on charges that he is “a bitch” and “a homosexual.”** This is a recurrent pattern in incidents of school bullying across the
- The victim is punished.
- The bullies are protected and rewarded.
- The school system turns a blind eye to the bullying, tacitly justifying it.
- The school system sometimes actively participates in the bullying, if the boy identifies himself as gay.
- Parents and the community at large are not only not outraged at such school violence: they sometimes condone and promote it, due to their prejudice against gay persons.
- The violence escalates from verbal bullying to outright physical violence.
- Its ultimate outcome in some cases is murder.
I grew up in
I understand something of the mentality underlying this kind of school bullying. It occurs in a cultural context that puts a premium on belligerent masculinity. There is a tacit assumption in such cultures that men must prove they are men—by exhibiting traits of violence that demonstrate that they are at the top of the food chain. There is also a tacit assumption that men own everything—macho men, alpha men, that is, do so—and have a right to take what is theirs, even if the taking involves rapacity and brutality.
Those “beneath” the alpha men on the food chain—women and men regarded as feminine/weak—are objects. They are objects of violence that is excused and expected, because men are men. Men must be men. Being violent is what being a man is about. It is how a man proves he is an alpha male. Society hangs together because it adheres to a natural order: men are at top, women and feminized men are at bottom. Question that natural order or undermine it in any way, and you threaten to destabilize everything. Alpha men must be permitted to prove their alpha status in order to keep society stable and functioning.
We value men above all—men who can hunt, shoot, fish, play rough contact sports, demonstrate their machismo by lording it over “weaker” men. We will not succeed in preventing bullying in American schools, which reports indicate is much more often a pattern of male-on-male violence than female-on-female violence, until we address the culture of machismo underlying school bullying.
Machismo and hatred/fear of the feminine are deeply interwoven with homophobia. And school bullying, of the violent, sickening sort that took the life of Lawrence King early this year, arises out of homophobia. To address school bullying, we have to address homophobia.
No child needs to lose his life again in an American school. The churches must do something to address this problem and the homophobia that underlies it. If they do not do so soon, they will lose all credibility.
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